Taye Time

For a full six weeks, I’ve carried around my draft of goals for 2025, thinking that next cuppa the perfect moment to thoughtfully capture what I want for the coming year. Yet I still haven’t done this task I normally relish. 

I recognized recently that my delay comes from two things: grief and ambiguity. 

Grief comes from the goals I know now will not be possible with my precious horse Taye. I’ve intellectually accepted this disappointment, yet type now with a sad lump in my throat. I know it will be constructive to capture new goals around what he is able to do, and that I will pursue these with the urgency that comes from acknowledging the fleeting gift of our partnership.  

The ambiguity is about not yet knowing what Taye will be ultimately able to do after a surgery we hope repairs his lameness from arthritis and suspensory desmitis. And from being unclear about my aspirations as a rider. As part of making decisions for Taye's care, I had separated my personal rider goals from what’s best for his well-being and for our partnership. Still, I was unclear until recently whether Taye might be my last horse. Maybe it’s time for a new chapter of travel, more dance, training my talented dog, and friendships with civilians (aka non-equestrians.)  But this too is settling into clearer thinking. I will have another horse in my life with only the timing to be negotiated.

For now, one goal: Taye’s next surgery. And bravely moving enough beyond grief and ambiguity to capture the goals I do know. For now.